Close To Home

  I am so grateful my daughter  talked me into getting a Facebook account.  I have been able to catch up with people I went to college with.  The status of a friend who lived on the same floor I did said she was headed to Lincon, IL because her daughter was having a baby.  I asked her if it was her first grandchild and she said that she had one grandson and that her son and his wife were expecting in July. 
  A couple of days later I was talking with Ben and mentioned this friend.  He asked if she was related to a college classmate of his with the same last name.  She did have a son by that name.  He and Ben had lived in the same dorm and they had gotten married within months of each other.  Ben knew that Eric and his wife were also expecting about the same time they were. 
  A few days later on Facebook, on January 14th, I saw Tayna's status.  It was so sad.  It said she and her husband were heartbroken for Eric and Rachel.  It didn't say exactly why but I knew.  I found out through a third party that they had went in for a prenatal visit and there was no heartbeat.
  I have been devistated by two miscarriages.  I knew what the poor mother was going through.  No amount of words can explain the emptiness and pain she was feeling.  When ever I hear of anyone losing a child I relive my own experience. 
  After I had my miscarriages I also did a lot of reading about grief.  One article I read said the grandparents' grief is double.  They are grieving for the loss of and grandchild and also for their child's loss. 
  I sent Tayna an email telling her of my experience and what I had learned.  Knowing that nothing can ease the pain at the moment I thought it might help them to know that it doesn't always hurt as bad as it does when it's new.  My heart went out to them.  
  A few days later Beth had her first visit to her new doctor since moving to this area.  She hadn't been feeling well and I think we were both a little concerned.  Her appointment went well and except, for a bladder infection, she and the baby were fine.  I posted that as a status on Facebook, knowing that Tanya would probably read it.  I felt so bad that she would not be able to make a similar post about her daughter-in-law.  Soon after I made the post she marked in the comment area (those familar with Facebook know what I mean) she marked that she liked my status.  That meant so much to me.  She didn't have to do that.  I know how hard that was for her.
  Why is it that our emotional lives are so entwined in our children's?  I had more fun helping my daughter plan her wedding than I did mine.  Also, I'm more excited about this baby than I was my own. 
  My son played sports in high school.  Last year school (08-09), his senior year, the football team had an undefeated regular season.  They lost their first game just before they would have played for the state championship for their division.  I still cry when I think about how broken hearted those boys were.  The team had bonded like they never had before and the seniors knew they would never experience that closeness again.  It was such a great ride and I don't even like football!  The next May my son's baseball team got into the playoffs.  The day after graduation the team played their last sectional game.  The past teams had made it that far but had never won that game that would have let them play in the Super Sectionals at the U of I.  They were playing at the Danville Stadium, where a minor league team, The Danville Dans, play.  It was the fourth inning.  The first batter got on second with a base hit and an error.  The second batter was walked.  The third batter was hit by the pitch.  With bases loaded my son came up to bat.  I remember thinking, "Please don't strike or even worse hit into a double play!" (I do like baseball!)  Brad, my son, hit the very first pitch for a Grand Slam homerun!  The place went absolutely wild!  A friend at the game was talking with another friend at the that moment.  She had to hang up because she couldn't hear. He had the biggest grin on his face as trotted around the bases.  As he rounded third base the coach grabbed his hand, as he had all the others, but Brad said he wouldn't let go.  The players mobbed him at home plate.  At that moment I was the proudest mother on the planet, or at least that stadium!  They ended up winning that game.  They were the first Salt Fork Storm team to play at the U of I baseball field.
  What does this have to do with what I'm writing about?  Tears are filling my eyes as I type.  When my kids are happy I feel twice the joy.  When they are sad I feel double the pain.  I think watching Beth losing a child would be worse than my own miscarriages.  My prayers are constantly with Tanya and her son and daugher-in-law.  This hit very close to home.