The Rest of the Story!

I haven't posted to the blog in over a year and there's really no excuse except I just haven't thought about it.

I last posted on 6/6/10.  Two days later (Tuesday 6/8/10) at 1 AM Ben called to say he was taking Beth to the hospital.  She was having contractions and they just weren't going away.  How ever, she had contractions without dilating before so Ben said he would call when they found out what was going on.  They would not keep her unless she was dilated at least 5 cm. even if she was in labor.  And she was only a little over 36 weeks pregnant.

I got up and took a shower.  I figured that even if they did send them home I would have my shower for the day.  My husband got up to go to the bathroom and I told him what was going on.  I got on the computer just for something to do.  About 3 AM Ben called again and said Beth was dilated 5 cm and they were keeping her!

After Steve got ready we headed to the hospital.  We got there about 5 AM.  It was very cloudy and a little cool that day.  As we made our way to her room we met Beth's friend, Jenni, who had just gotten there.  A little later Beth's friend, Krystle, and her 4 month old daughter, Katelyn joined us.  Later in the morning Ben's parents, Kay and Bryian Crostreet, arrived.  Later, after work, Dale and Janice Van Duyn, and their daughter, Laurren Karr, joined us.  The Van Duyns had been our friends for years.  Steve works with Dale and Laurren and Beth were friends almost since birth.

Beth got an epidural and was a lot more comfortable.  She even rested a little bit.  Except for short trips to get something to eat, Ben stayed at Beth's side.  The nurses came in occasionally to check her.  It seemed to be a very slow process.  When they broke her water and things progressed a littler quicker for awhile.  Then it slowed down again.  The doctor had just told her that a C-section was not out of the question when she dilated completely.

At that point everyone except Ben had to go to the waiting room.  I think that was about 7:30 PM.  We waited for what seems like hours.  I was getting concerned so I went to the nurse's desk to ask if everything was going okay.  Of course they would tell me nothing.

 A little while later, about 9 PM Ben came into the waiting room, all smiles.  He told us the baby had been born and that were stitching Beth up.  She had tore quite a bit.  Then he told us the vital information.  She weighted 7lbs. and 4 oz.  She was 20 inches long.  And her name was Addyson Noelle!  Her nickname would be Addy.

We went to see Beth and the baby.  They were planning to keep the baby in the room with them but they said Addy was 'singing' or making noises when she breathed, indicating breathing problems.  She had to go to the nursery, they thought, for just a little while.

We went to the nursery to look at the baby through the window.  She was the most beautiful baby, besides my own, that I had ever seen.  She had dark hair (that looked curly at the time) and dark eyes.  She also had the cutest chubby cheeks imaginable!  Beth had given me a list of people to call so I phoned family and friends.  I couldn't get over the fact that I was a grandmother!  When Beth was finally taken to her postpartum room we went to see her.  She had the sweetest smile on her face when we entered.  She had done such a wonderful job!  A friend on Facebook had told me I would never look at my daughter the same way again and she was right.

We went home probably about 11 or 11:30 PM.  All the way home (a 45 minute drive that probably took us over an hour) it rained so hard we could barely see the road.  I had never seen it rain so hard for such a long time.  Brad had gotten Daisy from Ben and Beth's and of course we had to take care of our dogs, too.  Needless to say, we were exhausted but very happy.

The next day Beth called to tell us they had to take Addy to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit because of her breathing.  No one, besides the parents, could see the baby at this point.  Beth was very sore and had a hard time moving.  She had about 25 stitches.  But they went to the NICU to see Addy when they could.

 On Friday I went to the hospital to see Ben and Beth.  They said that they could have 2 support people that could go into the NICU with them but they had to have had a N1H1 flu shot.  I had not had one so I went to Walgreens down the street and got one.  I had to wear a mask because it hadn't been two weeks since I'd had the shot.  But I got to go into the NICU to hold my granddaughter for the first time!

The whole NICU experience was not pleasant.  The breathing problems resolved quickly but then they were concerned about her being able to get enough breast milk.  They put in a feeding tube.  Beth wasn't allowed to nurse Addy, only pump.  She would give Addy a bottle and Ben would hold her while they gave her what she didn't take through the NG tube.  She continued to improve daily but the doctors and nurses were inconsistent on how they took care of her.  Beth was discharged on Thursday but Addy was still in NICU.  The hospital had a house with rooms that Ben and Beth got to stay for a few days.  That was such a blessing because it's about 45 minute drive to the hospital from their house and Beth was very sore and had trouble moving.

Finally, on Friday June 18th, Addy got to come home!  Ben and Beth were so glad to be able to take care of their baby themselves.

The Wednesday before last was Addy's First Birthday.  She had a party last Saturday.  Since her birth Ben and Beth have moved to Mt. Pulaski, IL  near Lincoln.  Ben has a job in Lincoln and they are continuing their education.  Addy has grown up to the the most beautiful, the smartest and the most precious child ever!  (I know all other grandmothers feel this way.  I call it the 'Grandmother's Prerogative.')  Her hair is straight, not curly like we thought.  She has her Dad's hazel eyes that turn colors depending on what she wears.  Sometimes they are gray, sometimes greenish, sometimes bluish.  She looks a lot like her Mommy's baby pictures but there are times when she looks just like her Daddy.  She's really a pretty good mix.  She has brought such joy and fulfilment into my life.   In March before Addy was born Dr. Phil's son and daughter-in-law had a baby and he had a show devoted to her.  Robin, his wife, said, "I thought I was born to be mother but I was wrong.   I was meant to be a grandmother!"  I know exactly what she means.

The Home Stretch

A couple of weeks ago Beth went to the hospital with contractions.  She was only 34 weeks.  Ben had graduated from college the day before and they though that she was over tired and maybe dehydrated. They kept her overnight and did an ultrasound.  The baby looked very good and they said she was 'breathing on her own".  I've never heard that term applied to a baby in the womb; I guess it means the baby is using the muscles she will have to use to breathe.  Beth did not dilate so they put her on a medication to relax the contrations, put her on some restrictions and sent her home.  At the doctor's appointment the next Tuesday the doctor said once she got to 35 weeks she could stop the medication and she was off of all restrictions.
The next weekend she had a shower that Ben's side of the family gave her.  Ben's grandmother, who was with us at the graduation, asked if Beth had "dropped".  Beth had said she though the baby was lower.  She was hoping she could at least make it to the shower and then they could get the rest of the things they needed before the baby came.
Here is is two weeks later and Beth is still pregnant and having contractions.  She has had trouble sleeping because of the contractions.  She is definately 'nesting' and can cry at the drop of a hat, which is not usually like her.  Today (6/6) she came back from Ben's parents very early because she was having some fairly regular contractions.  They did let up a little after she took a warm bath and she was able to sleep a little.  After a couple of hours the contractions woke her up.  Now they are on their way to Champaign so they can walk the mall.  Hopefully this will make the contractions stop or get worse.  If they get worse she can go to the hospital and get checked.  I can tell she doesn't want to go to the hospital until she is fairly sure she is in labor.  She does not want to be sent home.
As a mother it is hard to see your daughter miserable.  We know that she has to go through this to get to the goal, a baby girl.  I pray that this baby comes very soon.  I don't think Beth can take much more of this.  I'm worried that she will have a lot of problems with the labor because she is so sleep deprived.

Will my Grandchild be a Boy or a Girl?

  My family loves animals, especially dogs.  We've had dogs since before our children were born.  Beth has been wanting a dog since she got married.  She got a bunny and a guinea pig but had to give them away when she moved to a different appartment while they lived in Lincoln.  In January they decided to go the the local amimal shelter and look for a kitten.  Well, they also looked at puppies and Ben fell in love with a Rottweiler/Lab mix.  She has the markings of a Rottweiler but the body shape of a Lab.  They named her Daisy.  She is very low energy for a puppy, very smart but not the bravest dog in the yard.  There is a much smaller dog that belong to the people in the house next to them and when it barks, Daisy runs into the garage.  Who knows?  It might be good practice for the baby.  Except for the taking her outside to go potty thing.

  We have watched Daisy a few times and it's funny to watch her with our dogs, Blaze, a male 11 year-old Golden Retriever. and Angel, a 10 year-old female mixed breed.  Blaze is the typical Golden, easy going and patient with the puppy.  He also has a huge fatty tumor on his side and probably arthritis which makes it hard for him to move quickly.  Angel is more dominate and territorial.  She is basically the boss and the enforcer.  She does not put up with the puppy's antics.  Daisy, being a puppy, likes to play.  I believe she thinks Blaze is a canine jungle gym.  She jumps on top of him, bites his head and basically terrorizes the poor old man.  Blaze growls occasionally but does not do a lot to defend himself.   Angel has pinned her several times, without hurting her, to teach her some puppy manners.  When Aunt Angel speaks, Daisy listens.  When Daisy is bothering Uncle Blaze all Anut Angel has to do is walk over and look at her and Daisy stops.  The reason I'm telling you this is because I think it's funny and we had to puppy sit Daisy on Feburary 16th, the day of the ultrasound. 

  Beth's doctor's appointment was in Champaign, about 45 minutes away.  This appointment was also to include a very throrough ultrasound lasting for about a half hour.  Because it was a late afternoon appointment they decided to make an evening of it.  They asked me to watch Daisy because they were going to be gone for several hours.  If the baby co-operated and they could determine the sex, Ben and Beth decided not to tell anyone until the next day.  They were also not telling anyone the names.  Just  before this appointment they both decided they weren't sure about the girl's name they had chosen.  They said they would wait to see what the sex of the baby was before they discussed names again.  If the baby was a boy there would be no problem.
  After I knew the ultrasound would be over I called and asked if everything was okay and if the baby had co-operated.  She said yes to both and they were going to see if they could find a 'take-home' outfit for the baby.  I didn't press for any more information because I knew they wanted to keep this information just between them for a little while.  A few minutes later Brad called and asked if Beth knew the sex of the baby yet.  I told him they weren't going to tell until the next day.  He seemed a little disappointed.
  They had to come to our house to pick up Daisy before they went home.  It just happened to be the night of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.  Since there was nothing better on I made the dogs watch it with me and take notes.  I hoped they would learn something from these beautiful, well behaved dogs.  I really don't think they played close enough attention.  It was just over when Ben and Beth came in.
  Beth had a shopping bag in her hand.  She said she wanted to show me something.  They had decided to tell the grandparents and aunt and uncles that night.  She had already called her dad, who was at work, and Ben's parents.  I think they may have also called Ben's sister and her husband or were going to the next morning.  Anyway I thought I saw a lot of pink in the bag and sure enough, she had several little girl outfits!  They call Brad, who was at a friend's house, and had him come home.  When he saw the little pink outfits I was holding he smiled and said, "It's a girl?'  He hugged his sister and brother-in-law.
  I would have been just as happy with a boy but I was surprised how thrilled I was that it was a girl!  I couldn't stop smiling  Oh the cute clothes I could buy!  Now the only problem is the name.  I will call her Wilhelmina.
  I wanted my first baby to be a boy but I got a girl.  I was not unhappy at all.  Beth wanted her first to be a boy but is very happy with a girl.  She said it took Ben a little while to get excited but when I saw him he was on cloud nine!  Beth says there's going to be a lot of estrogen in the house with her, the baby and Daisy.         
  People are calling the baby "The Princess".  Beth says she is going to have to remind her frequently that she is NOT the princess and that her daddy will be no help what so ever in that matter.  She says there's only room for one Princess in their house and that is BETH.  Oh, what a rude awakening she is in for!  I told her she is now the Queen and the baby can have the "Princess" title.
  This baby is starting to feel real to her now.  Beth can call the baby 'she' and 'her'.  She is starting to feel her move.  She loves this baby but not they way she will.  We've talked about this.  I don't think a first time mother really knows how strong the love she has for that baby is until that baby is born.   And I don't think I'll fully understand the love of a Grandmother until I see little Wilhelmina.  I get tears in my eyes when I think about my daughter holding her little girl for the first time and falling deeply in love with her.  I simply cannot wait!

Anticipation!

  Beth and the baby both are doing fine. Ben's internship is going well.  It seems like such a long time since we first found out.  Now we are just waiting to find out if the baby is a boy or girl.  On February 16th Beth is going to have an ultrasound and if the baby cooperates we will know.
  It's funny to see everyone's opinion on what they want the baby to be.  Beth wants a boy but thinks the baby is a girl.  Either way she says she won't be upset.  Ben wants a boy.  He calls the baby 'he' and corrects anyone who says 'she'.  Beth expressed a little concern about Ben being disappoinated if the baby is a girl.  I told Beth that he will have plenty of time to get used to the idea before the baby is born.  Besides, when a little girl is born she holds up her little finger in the delivery room and the father wraps himself around it.  Brad wants the baby to be a boy.  He says he won't have as much in common with a girl.  Beth says if the baby is a boy he will never spend a second alone with Uncle Brad.  She can just imagine Brad teaching  his nephew to fart, burb and be generally gross.  Grandpa Steve hasn't really said anything one way or the other.  He did say because both Ben and Beth wanted a boy, the baby will probably be a girl.  As for me, my vote is for healthy.  It's more fun to shop for a girl but I find myself gravitatating toward the boy section is stores.  That's probably because that's want Ben and Beth want.  Either way, I already love this baby.
  Now for the name.  Ben and Beth have chosen names but they are not telling what they are.  There are two reasons for that.  First, they don't want the name to be judged.  People will say, "You don't want to name a baby that!"  Another reason is because they might change their minds before the baby is born.  Beth said her sister-in-law told everybody one name and then decided on another just before the baby was born.  Someone had already got or made the baby a personalized item.  Just recently she said she and Ben had doubts about the name they chose for a girl.  Again I really don't care.  That is a decision that should be made by the parents and unless asked to help, other people should keep their opinions to themselves.  I do know that the name will not be very common, like John or Mary.  I think it will be a little unusual but not way out there, like Dweezil or Moon Unit.  The only reason I would say anything is if they name their child something really redicilous, like Ima Pig or Harry Pits.  Just about anything will go with their last name, Crostreet.  At one time Beth said she thought it sounded a little American Indian.  She said they could name a child 'Running Bear Crostreet'.  I thought that was hilerious.  It would be a good name for a dog.  I have chosen to refere to the baby as Percivile or Whilamina. 
  If my grandchild reads this some day I want to make this very clear:  It doesn't make any difference if you are a boy or a girl or what your name is.  You are loved because of who you are.  I promise we will all be thrilled.

Close To Home

  I am so grateful my daughter  talked me into getting a Facebook account.  I have been able to catch up with people I went to college with.  The status of a friend who lived on the same floor I did said she was headed to Lincon, IL because her daughter was having a baby.  I asked her if it was her first grandchild and she said that she had one grandson and that her son and his wife were expecting in July. 
  A couple of days later I was talking with Ben and mentioned this friend.  He asked if she was related to a college classmate of his with the same last name.  She did have a son by that name.  He and Ben had lived in the same dorm and they had gotten married within months of each other.  Ben knew that Eric and his wife were also expecting about the same time they were. 
  A few days later on Facebook, on January 14th, I saw Tayna's status.  It was so sad.  It said she and her husband were heartbroken for Eric and Rachel.  It didn't say exactly why but I knew.  I found out through a third party that they had went in for a prenatal visit and there was no heartbeat.
  I have been devistated by two miscarriages.  I knew what the poor mother was going through.  No amount of words can explain the emptiness and pain she was feeling.  When ever I hear of anyone losing a child I relive my own experience. 
  After I had my miscarriages I also did a lot of reading about grief.  One article I read said the grandparents' grief is double.  They are grieving for the loss of and grandchild and also for their child's loss. 
  I sent Tayna an email telling her of my experience and what I had learned.  Knowing that nothing can ease the pain at the moment I thought it might help them to know that it doesn't always hurt as bad as it does when it's new.  My heart went out to them.  
  A few days later Beth had her first visit to her new doctor since moving to this area.  She hadn't been feeling well and I think we were both a little concerned.  Her appointment went well and except, for a bladder infection, she and the baby were fine.  I posted that as a status on Facebook, knowing that Tanya would probably read it.  I felt so bad that she would not be able to make a similar post about her daughter-in-law.  Soon after I made the post she marked in the comment area (those familar with Facebook know what I mean) she marked that she liked my status.  That meant so much to me.  She didn't have to do that.  I know how hard that was for her.
  Why is it that our emotional lives are so entwined in our children's?  I had more fun helping my daughter plan her wedding than I did mine.  Also, I'm more excited about this baby than I was my own. 
  My son played sports in high school.  Last year school (08-09), his senior year, the football team had an undefeated regular season.  They lost their first game just before they would have played for the state championship for their division.  I still cry when I think about how broken hearted those boys were.  The team had bonded like they never had before and the seniors knew they would never experience that closeness again.  It was such a great ride and I don't even like football!  The next May my son's baseball team got into the playoffs.  The day after graduation the team played their last sectional game.  The past teams had made it that far but had never won that game that would have let them play in the Super Sectionals at the U of I.  They were playing at the Danville Stadium, where a minor league team, The Danville Dans, play.  It was the fourth inning.  The first batter got on second with a base hit and an error.  The second batter was walked.  The third batter was hit by the pitch.  With bases loaded my son came up to bat.  I remember thinking, "Please don't strike or even worse hit into a double play!" (I do like baseball!)  Brad, my son, hit the very first pitch for a Grand Slam homerun!  The place went absolutely wild!  A friend at the game was talking with another friend at the that moment.  She had to hang up because she couldn't hear. He had the biggest grin on his face as trotted around the bases.  As he rounded third base the coach grabbed his hand, as he had all the others, but Brad said he wouldn't let go.  The players mobbed him at home plate.  At that moment I was the proudest mother on the planet, or at least that stadium!  They ended up winning that game.  They were the first Salt Fork Storm team to play at the U of I baseball field.
  What does this have to do with what I'm writing about?  Tears are filling my eyes as I type.  When my kids are happy I feel twice the joy.  When they are sad I feel double the pain.  I think watching Beth losing a child would be worse than my own miscarriages.  My prayers are constantly with Tanya and her son and daugher-in-law.  This hit very close to home.

The Story So Far

  I guess I need to start at the beginning, the very beginning.  As long as I remember I wanted to be a mother.  I got married in 1983 and got pregnant in 1984.  Giving birth to my first child, Bethany Ann, on March 15, 1985 was one of the most exciting times of my life.  I remember holding her for the first time and absolutely falling in love with her.  I knew I would gladly give my life for her.  Raising her was not always easy.  She was always very smart (she started saying 2 word sentences at 14 months).  She quickly became very strong willed.   This makes for a difficult childhood at times but it also meant she would become a very strong woman.  As it is in so many cases I think we became closer after she went away to college.  I didn't have to be just her mom, I could now be a friend.  I would relive all of the difficult times to have the relationship we hve now.

  In 2006 she met her husband, Ben.  I couldn't have chosen a better husband for her myself.  Her wedding in December of 2007 was bittersweet.  All I could think of was that I had just held her in my arms.  But she was not only marrying a man who would be good to her, I knew he would be good for her.  I cannot imagine going through with a wedding when you had doubts about your child's choice for a spouse.  I thank God every day for my son-in-law.  They lived in Lincoln, IL because Ben was finishing up school at Lincoln Christian College (now Lincoln Christian University).

  Like me, she wanted to be a mother.  Unfoutunately she has Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which made it hard to concieve, and  Fibromyalgia which meant she would be in pain while pregnant.  She finally started going to a doctor who listened to and seemed to care.  So she and Ben decided to try to start a family.

  In October of 2009 she called me frequently giving me up dates on her progress.  Because of the PCOS she wasn't sure when she could get pregnant.  On October 23rd Ben's sister had a baby boy.  Ben and Beth got to go to Florida to visit them.  When she got back she really didn't say much about getting pregnant, in fact our converstations were  uncharacteristically short.  I didn't want to push the issue because I wanted her to tell me in her time, in her way.

  After she got back from Florida she called to ask us to meet them at Beef House in Covington the following Saturday.  We had just celebrated my son, Brad's, birthday at a restaurant so I suggested they just come to our house for chichen and noodles.  She said that Ben's parents, Bryan and Kay, had already made arrangements to meet us there.

  A couple of days later I told Brad that I thought Beth might be pregnant and she wanted to tell us at dinner.  He said he had just talked to her and that we were not meeting for that reason.  I asked him if he knew why and he said he did but wouldn't tell me.  He did say it was something good.  At first I believed him.  He's usually very truthful.  Then I got to thinking about it.  He doesn't like me trying to figure out surprises.  Either he was telling the truth or he hadn't talked to Beth at all.  I couldn't imagine her telling him before me!

  On November 7th. my husband, Steve, and I were on our way to the Beef House.  I honestly didn't think he had guessed anything.  Then he said his friend and boss, Dale, had asked if we were going out to eat so Beth could tell us she was pregnant and that he had thought the same thing.  I told him what Brad had told me.  I think we both suspected.

  When we got to the restaurant everyone else was already there.  As we greeted Bryan and Kay I noticed Beth was flittering around like a butterfly.  A few seconds later the waitresses brough our menus.  At first I didn't notice anything unusual but then someone said something and I notice there was a card on our menu, a card with a picture, an ultrasound picture saying we were going to be grandparents!  Our precious little bundle was expected July 4th.  Unexpectedly my eyes filled with tears.  I didn't realize how emotional this would be.  I still get teary eyed just thinking about that evening.

  I don't even remember really tasting my meal.  I was so happy for Ben and Beth and for me.  I kept telling Beth that I knew they had to wait to start a family, but hurry up!  Bryan and Kay had just returned from Flordia the day before.  They were visiting their first grandchild.  Of course the proud grandparents had pictures and I wanted to see them.  It was so enjoyable being able to celebrate with them.  Brad was supposed to have come with us but he forgot he had already made plans with his girlfriend, Krista.  Beth complained that he was a jerk for not coming.  I asked her if she had talked to him and she said no.  I told her what he had said and she just shook her head.  Ben and Beth stayed the night with us and Brad and Krista came over to the house after we got home to play games with Ben and Beth.  Beth gave him a card similar to our saying that he was going to be an uncle.  He admitted that he had lied because he didn't want me thinking I had figured out the surprise.
  Now the hard part.  Beth didn't want us telling anyone because of the increased risk of miscarriage because of her PCOS.  I wanted to shout it to the world!  But I also understood her reasoning.  I had two miscarriages between my two kids and that was one of the most difficult things I've ever experienced.  I feel a little guilty.  I know at least some of her fear comes from knowing what I went through.  She wanted to wait until she was 12 weeks because the risk of miscarriage decreases after that.  She would be 12 weeks on the Saturday before Christmas and we could tell our family and friends then.  At the next doctor's appointment they changed the due date from July 4th to the 3rd.
  Ben was finishing up his last semester at Lincoln.  He needed to do an internship but was having trouble finding a place he could do one.  Several month earlier one of the ministers at our church told me to tell Ben that if he needed to our church might be able to work something out.  It was really not his first choice but he was getting desprite.  God worked things out in an unbelievable way.  Steve's mom had moved and her house still hadn't sold.  She let Beth and Ben stay there.  Beth also needed a job to that was flexable for her to be able to take classes at Lincoln.  A friend of our is an assistant principal at a local school and said she needed subs almost every day.  All Beth had to do is sign up.  She can work when she wants.
  Ben and Beth eventually decided we could tell our family at Thanksgiving. I made up an email to send to family.  Around Thanksgiving Beth helped me set up a Facebook account.  It's a great way to get information out to a lot of people at once. I  started a countdown to the day I could tell everyone I was going to be a grandma.  That was so much fun. 
  It seemed like it was such a long time to wait to tell people.  Then the day before I thought they would tell people I saw the status on Beth's Facebook anouncing she was pregnant so I posted my already prepared post.  It was so heartwarming to see the reactions and wishes of friends and family. 
    It was a wonderful Christmas.  We got Ben and Beth the crib they wanted.  Ben and his dad are going to make the other furniture and wanted it so they could duplicate the color and style.  I also made a stocking for little Percivile or Whilamina.  When I was Christmas shopping I went into a Gymboree, a children's apparel store.  I saw some of the cutest clothes!  The sales lady asked me if I needed help.  I told her it was a good thing I didn't know if I was going to have a grandson or granddaugher!  It saved us alot of money.